EMBRACING THROUGH PRAYER – MARRIAGE MESSAGE

Something amazing happens to our hearts when we pray for another person. The hardness melts. We become able to get beyond the hurts, and forgive. We even end up loving the person we’re praying for. It’s miraculous! It happens because when we pray we enter into the presence of God and He fills us with His Spirit of love. (Stormie Omartian)

We want to revisit the subject of prayer once again this week because it’s so important. We’ve personally seen the power of prayer transform our lives in so many positive ways as the Lord has brought unity into our relationship despite the walls we created through our hardened hearts.

We would like to share a point that Stormie Omartian makes in her wonderful book, “The Power of a Praying Wife“ (Harvest House Publishers). She addresses the question, “I don’t even like him —how can I pray for him?” Keep in mind that even though she is addressing wives, concerning husbands, the same can be said and prayed by the husband concerning his wife. She writes:

“Have you ever been so mad at your husband [or wife] that the last thing you wanted to do was pray for him [or her]? So have I. It’s hard to pray for someone when you’re angry or he’s [she’s] hurt you. But that’s exactly what God wants us to do. If He asks us to pray for our enemies, how much more should we be praying for the person with whom we have become one and are supposed to love? But how do we get past the unforgiveness and critical attitude?

“The first thing to do is be completely honest with God. In order to break down the walls in our hearts and smash the barriers that stop communication, we have to be totally up front with the Lord about our feelings. We don’t have to ‘pretty it up’ for Him. He already knows the truth. He just wants to see if we’re willing to admit it and confess it as disobedience to His ways. If so, He then has a heart with which He can work.

“If you’re angry at your husband [or wife], tell God. Don’t let it become a cancer that grows with each passing day. Don’t say, ‘I’m going to live my life and let him [her] live his [or hers].’ There’s a price to pay when we act entirely independently of one another. “Neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord’ (1 Corinthians 11:11).

“Instead say: ‘Lord nothing in me wants to pray for [my spouse]. I confess my anger, hurt, unforgiveness, disappointment, resentment, and hardness of heart toward him [her]. Forgive me and create in me a clean heart and right spirit before You. Give me a new, positive, joyful, loving, forgiving attitude toward [my spouse]. Where [my marital partner] has erred, reveal it to him [her] and convict his [her] heart about it. Lead through the paths of repentance and deliverance. Help me not to hold myself apart emotionally, mentally, or physically because of unforgiveness.

“’Where either of us needs to ask forgiveness of the other, help us to do so. If there is something I’m not seeing that’s adding to this problem, reveal it to me and help me to understand it. Remove any wedge of confusion that has created misunderstanding or miscommunication. Where there is behavior that needs to change in either of us, I pray You would enable that change to happen.

“‘As much as I want to hang on to my anger toward him [her] because I feel it’s justified, I want to do what You want. I release all those feelings to You. Give me a renewed sense of love for [my marriage partner] and words to heal this situation.’

“If you feel you’re able, try this little experiment and see what happens. Pray for your husband [or wife] every day for a month. Ask God to pour out His blessings on him [or her] and fill you both with His love. See if your heart doesn’t soften toward him [or her]. Notice if his [or her] attitude toward you doesn’t change as well. Observe whether your relationship isn’t running smoother.

“If you have trouble making that kind of prayer commitment, think of it from the Lord’s perspective. Seeing your [spouse] through God’s eyes —not just as your [spouse], but as God’s child, whom the Lord loves —can be a great revelation. If someone called and asked you to pray for his or her son, you would do it, wouldn’t you? Well, God is asking.”

I (Cindy) pray the Lord ministers to your heart through these thoughts. I know that nothing draws me closer to a right attitude about my husband than praying for him. As Stormie also said, “I’ve seen women with no feelings of love for their husbands find that as they prayed, over time, those feelings came. Sometimes they felt differently even after the first heartfelt prayer.”

I know this to be true in my own life because there was a time when I didn’t think I had any love for Steve. But as I began to pray that God would “renew a right spirit in me,” and I laid my dead feelings at the feet of Christ and earnestly prayed for Steve, God resurrected that which was dead and helped me to love Steve for who he really is instead of who I thought he needed to be.

As I (Steve) re-visit the subject of praying, I’m drawing again from the book, “The Power Of A Praying Husband“ by Stormie Omartian (Harvest House Publishers). As Cindy said, it’s sometimes difficult for our wives to pray for us because there are times they don’t even “like us.”

As I reflect on her statement I can’t help but think that those times usually happened when I was either apathetic or too controlling in our relationship —neither of which modeled Christ like behavior. I found Stormie’s book enlightening in a number of different ways regarding having the proper “prayer attitude” when praying for Cindy.

Let me cite an example. In “The Power Of A Praying Husband“ Stormie wrote, “Whatever you don’t pray about in your life you leave up to chance. And that’s not good enough when it comes to your marriage. The problem with chance in marriage is chances are there will be difficult times. Chances are there will be disagreements. Chances are there will be misunderstandings and hurts. Chances are there will be selfishness and hardness of heart. That’s because we are, after all, human. But if we leave the outcome of these things up to chance, we’ll wind up in trouble down the line.”

Stormie maintains that all of these things can be turned around through prayer. “If busyness, work-aholism, unforgiveness, strife, childrearing, careers, separate interests, boredom, miscommunication has crept between you and your wife, God can work through your prayers to bring down the wall that separates you, and mold you together in unity. Praying for your wife will not only soften her heart, it will soften yours as well.”

Doesn’t that give you hope? No matter what’s happened in your marriage, God can bring healing. You have Him on your side. And if God is on your side, you become a winner in the end!

We encourage you to pray for one another and love each other as God loves you. Please know our prayers are with you as together, we strive to make our marriages the best they can be because of the love of Christ,

Steve and Cindy Wright

THE FACES OF FORGIVENESS

A few weeks ago, we were talking with a good friend who made a comment that really got us thinking. He said he could not forgive a particular person because that person had not asked him for forgiveness. Are we held back from forgiveness in this way? What are the rules about forgiveness? And who exactly are we supposed to forgive? This made for some lively discussion in the car on the way home.

Out of that discussion grew an intense desire to find out all we could about forgiveness. We figured if we struggled over the issues of forgiveness, others must as well.

We started with the basics: what does forgiveness mean?

We found that forgiveness has two faces. First, it means “to cancel a debt, to pardon or remit guilt.” That is what we had always thought it meant. But there is a second definition of forgiveness —to relinquish resentment against the debtor. This is harder to understand. We can cancel a debt, but how do we cancel a feeling?

Did you know the Bible does not define forgiveness? But it certainly gives us a model—God Himself. God cancels the debt and pardons those who confess and repent. 1 John 1:9 states this plainly,

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

2 Peter 3:9 says,

He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

Throughout Scripture it is clear that if we repent, God cancels our debt and pardons us; if we do not repent, He does not pardon. His righteousness demands repentance and cleansing before restoration. So God does not always forgive according to the first definition of forgiveness. He forgives only those who repent.

But what about the second definition—the part about relinquishing resentment? God always forgives in this way. He never holds resentment or bitterness against anyone, whether they repent or not. Some take Jesus’ words from the cross, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing (Luke 23:34), as a blanket kind of forgiveness for all people.

But the forgiveness the Father extended to those mocking and jeering beneath the cross could not have been pardon for their sin in crucifying Jesus, for later in Acts 3 they are still held accountable. YOU handed him over to be killed (verse 13). YOU disowned the Holy and Righteous One (verse 14).

As Jesus, suffering incredibly, looked down upon His tormentors, He refused to hold resentment against them. Can you picture the Father watching these same people crying out for His Son’s blood? Yet He held no bitterness toward them. Can you imagine that kind of forgiveness?

What do these two faces of forgiveness mean to us in our struggle to forgive?

To read the rest of this article (which we HIGHLY recommend) click onto the Marriages.net link below:

• THE FACES OF FORGIVENESS

-ALSO-


• GIVING UP THE GRUDGE

“It is up to you to do everything within your power to see that hardness does not find a way to move into your heart, because bad things are sure to happen if you don’t. ‘Happy is the man who is always reverent, but he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity‘ (Proverbs 28:14). When you harden your heart, you have hardened it toward God as well. This is dangerous ground to be standing on.

“Don’t trust your heart, because it can grow hard over something you believe is completely justified. ‘He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but whoever walks wisely will be delivered‘ (Proverbs 28:26).

“God sees hardness of heart as never being justified. That’s because when you receive the Lord, He sends the Holy Spirit to live in your heart and soften it. ‘Then I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them, and take the stony heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh‘” (Ezekiel 11:19). 

P.U.S.H. = PRAY UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS!

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with bright light and the Savior appeared. The Lord told the man He had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. This, the man did, day after day.

For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down with his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore, and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.

Seeing that the man was showing signs of discouragement, the Adversary decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man’s weary mind: “You’ve been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn’t budged. Why kill yourself over this? You’re never going to move it” —thus, giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.

“Why kill myself over this?” he thought. “I’ll just put in my time, giving just the minimum effort and that’ll be good enough.”

And that’s just what he planned to do— until one day he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.

“Lord” he said, “I’ve labored long and hard in Your service, putting all my strength to do that which You’ve asked. Yet, after all this time, I haven’t even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What’s wrong? Why am I failing?”

The Lord responded compassionately,

“My friend, when I asked you to serve Me— you accepted. I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength— which you’ve done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to Me— with your strength spent, thinking that you’ve failed. But is that really so?”

“Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscular. Your back sinew is mighty. Your hands are callused from the constant pressure;and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you’ve grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven’t moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. This you’ve done. I, my friend, will now move the rock.”

At times, when we hear from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants. What God ACTUALLY wants is just simple OBEDIENCE and FAITH IN HIM.

By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it’s still God who moves the mountains.

P.U.S.H. = Pray Until Something Happens!

When everything seems to go wrong,

just P.U.S.H.

When the job gets you down,

P.U.S.H.

When people don’t react the way you think they should,

P.U.S.H.

When your money looks funny and the bills are due,

P.U.S.H.

When people just don’t understand you,

just P.U.S.H.!!!

Abstinence Before Marriage...

People have been sharing all these stories about the brokeness they feel after having failed to stay abstinent, and I thought that my story may encourage someone. I've prayed that God can use my past (and my present and future) to bless and encourage others.

I was born into what seems like a pretty perfect family. My father met my mother while he was a missionary, and God revealed to them that they were suppose to marry. I am the oldest of their three children and was raised nearly my entire life in Christian school and church. 

When I reached my teens, I saw an episode of 19 Kids and Counting where the eldest son said that he and his then fiancee were waiting until the day they married for their first kiss, and I fell in love with the idea. The thought of only ever kissing "the one" and your very first kiss being shared on one of the most special days of your life seemed so romantic. I made up my mind that I wasn't ever going to date (nor was I allowed to) , I was just going to wait until God revealed to me the one like he did for my parents.

By the time I was sixteen, I was working part time at a local restaurant. A new boy started... He was cute and sweet, we liked the same music. He like me, I liked him, and we started dating. Since my parents didn't allow me to date, I began to lie about the time I was starting and getting off of work. And I lied more, and more. Everything was turning into a lie. One day I broke my vow and gave that boy my first kiss. Then within a few weeks my parents found out about the relationship, when they got a call saying that their daughter needed to be picked up at Sonic where she had been found in the back of a car making out with a boy... Oh they were angry, hurt, betrayed... but I didn't care. They made me quit my job and forbade me from seeing him, but behind their back I was still contacting him. A few months later I was home because I had just had my tonsils removed. I decided to drive up and visit him, figuring I could get back with plenty of times so my parents wouldn't know. He lived out in a maze of dirt roads, that I wasn't use to driving on... I ended up rolling my car into a ditch, and watched my life flash before my eyes. I came out of it without a scratch, but with a rather large dent in my car. I drove home and I knew I had to tell my parents the truth. I couldn't hide the dent. When they asked me where I had been, all my resolved left and I lied. They saw the dent and questioned me and I owned up to what had happened. Again they forbade me from seeing him, I finally broke it off with him since I could see the pain it was causing for my family.

Within a few months we were back together. My parents were reluctantly allowing me to date him, as they were more worried about what I do behind their back if they didn't. But this time, things took a turn for the worse. He started talking about sexual things. Things that I had barely known about and that weren't part of my world, but I was drawn in. We started having oral sex which eventually led to just plain sex. I would go home and cry and be disgusted with myself. At school during our worship period, I couldn't praise God because I knew he knew my dirty little secret. I would vow to stop and make my boyfriend promise to, and within a few days we were at it again. Emotionally I was a wreck. He was constantly jealous and forbade me to talk to other boys, and I was feeling lost, I had turned into someone I didn't recognize. 
I reached out to God for comfort. The healing began, but I knew that I could never be free of it until I broke it off with this boy. So I did, he cried and threatened to kill himself. But through it all, I stayed strong.

I didn't date again. I knew I couldn't fall back into that trap. I was free from this boy, but not from my past. Some nights I would cry myself to sleep because of how guilty and ashamed I felt. I had asked God for forgiveness, and I knew he had forgiven me, but I was still haunted by my deeds. I didn't blame the boy for leading me astray. I tried to, but I knew that I was the one who had failed. Finally one day several months ago, I was watching videos by Jeff Bethke (the guy from the video "Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus"). I came across a video where Jeff talks about how if Hitler had asked God for forgiveness, God would not have only forgive him but he would have wiped his sin clean. See, I had always looked at forgiveness on the human level. I did something wrong, I apologize and you forgive me. But God's forgiveness doesn't work like that. I do something wrong, I ask for forgiveness, he forgives me AND he forgets it. When God forgives, it's like it never happened.

So to all those out there, who are struggling with guilt and shame, I want you to know that if you repented, God sees you as pure, spotless white. You are a brand new canvas, the first page of a story. You are new and you are beautiful/handsome in his eyes.

HEART TOUCHING STORY

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods 

from door to door to pay his 

way through school, found he had only one 

thin dime left, and he was hungry. 

He decided he would ask for a meal at the 

next house. 

However, he lost his nerve when a lovely 

young woman opened the door. 

Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of 

water. 

She thought he looked hungry so brought 

him a large 

glass of milk He drank it slowly, and then 

asked, "How much do I owe you?" 

"You don't owe me anything," she replied "

Mother has taught us never to 

accept payment for a kindness." 

He said... "Then I thank you from my heart." 

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only 

felt; stronger physically, 

but his faith in God and man was strong also.

He had been ready to give up and quit. 

Years later that young woman became 

critically ill. The local doctors 

were baffled. They finally sent her to the big 

city, where they called in specialists to study 

her rare 

disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the 

consultation. 

When he heard the name of the town she 

came from, a strange light filled 

his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down

the hall of the hospital to her 

room. Dressed in his doctor's gown he went 

in to see her. 

He recognized her at once. He went back to 

the consultation 

room determined to do his best to save her 

life. From that day he gave 

special attention to the case. 

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. 

Kelly requested the 

business office to pass the final bill to him for

approval. 

He looked at it, then wrote something on the 

edge and the bill was sent 

to her room. She feared to open it, for she 

was sure it would take the rest of her life to 

pay for 

it all. Finally, she looked, and something 

caught her attention on the side as she read 

these 

words...... 

"Paid in full with one glass of milk." (Signed)

Dr. Howard Kelly. 

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy 

heart prayed: "Thank You, 

GOD, that Your love has spread abroad 

through human hearts and hands." 

Think!!!!!!!!...

Life Story Of William Branham 1950

And notice this one thing now. Later on down through life, I had girlfriends like all boys. And I remember I was a little skeptic of girls; I seen the way women act. And frankly, I never did have very much use for women. I don't mean you sisters, now, but just to see how untrue they were, some of them.

Life Story Of William Branham -1950

And I said I'd never get married; never want nothing to do with one [woman]. I'll be a trapper and a hunter all my life, and I'll never have nothing with the girl. When I was even 17, 18 years old, I'd pass down the street. I'd see a girl on one side, and I thought she was going say something, I'd cross over and go over on the other side, because I just didn't want nothing to do. That's all, didn't want to hook up - caught up with it or anything, I wanted to keep away from it. And so I went ahead. But finally I found a girl that was a real girl. She was a Christian. She afterwards become my wife.

Hebrews, Chapter 7, Part Two - 1957
I said, ".....What in the world do you see in that boy? .....he hates the very religion that you have. He despises your Christ. He'd never make you a husband; he'd make you miserable all your life." And I said, "Why, there's fine little Christian boys here that you could go with... Your daddy and mother despises the thoughts of you going out. But you go anyhow, and you think, 'I'm sweet sixteen.'"


Hebrews, Chapter 7, Part Two - 1957
Marriage is honorable, but it should be entered prayerfully and reverently. And genuine love for that woman will bind you together forever. "What you bind on the earth, I'll bind in heaven." When you walk down the street yonder, she may get old, and gray, and wrinkled, but that same love you had for her when she was a young beautiful woman, you'll still have it. You may get stoop-shouldered, baldheaded, and wrinkled-faced, and everything else, but she'll love you just like you did when you stand with wide shoulders and curly hair, if it's really God.

The Serpent Seed - 1958
Adam had done named all of the creation, everything else. But he wasn't nothing for himself, so He made him a helpmate: took a rib from his side, closed up the gash, and made a helpmate to him. And man in his spirit was both man and woman. And "a" woman is just a part of "a" man. And when a man takes to himself a wife, and if she's correctly his wife, a God-given wife, she'll be just to him as part of him.
That's the reason you have so many scruples in the marriage. Is because you go out and see some girl with pretty brown eyes, or blue eyes, or something like that, some pretty figure, and you fall for her. First time she has her first baby them teeth comes out, and she gets wrinkled and old, and then you want to kick her out. And some of you women find some little boy with his hair slicked down, his mammy's lard can half dumped on it, and curly; it'll all fall out. I know that by experience. But what happens? What is it? You fall for that. You ought to pray first, 'cause a woman is part of you. And if you've embraced a woman to your bosom, and taken her for your wife, and she makes an imprint on you... (We'll say it like this so you'll understand) and any other woman against that bosom won't fit that print. And God will hold you responsible for it. You just remember that.

Gift Of Life..